Support Network.
Morning! Happy Sunday! Honestly as I've got older I relish a good old traditional British Sunday of doing sweet eff all. You wouldn't catch me saying that during A Levels where I spent majority of my time on a Sunday cramming all the work/having hissy fits that I wouldn't be able to complete my deadlines into a 8 hour period and hope that I had some chance of passing my courses. But here we are, now I know I don't have to be a stress head/drainer on a Sunday worrying about what work I have left due to being talked into saying YES to going out the night before and severely regretting it on the Sunday when I woke up with a banging headache and inability to even remember my name let alone bash out a 3,000 word essay on your version of the meaning of life to take into school on the Monday. Now, I enjoy Sunday's of drinking coffee, watching tv and reading a book in bed without even changing out of my pj's! Am I 80 or 22?
Anyway, Sunday's post for this week hits at the support network I value v much, even when I am being a mardy little shit and not listening to anyone like when I've heard some bad news or having to do something I am not keen on doing. You could say I am slightly stubborn. Don't worry I steer clear of saying that on my Tinder profile, don't think it is quite the keeper! But moving on, I have a small support network of people I trust, feel at ease to express when I'm happy as Larry or when I have a face of a wet weekend, those people who I know I can call in a crisis at 3am and wouldn't bat an eyelid. Even if it is 'do I drink the 5th gin and tonic or shall I give it a miss?' night out venture questions. They are the bread to my butter, the tonic to my gin, the coffee to my doughnut. You get the jist!
There are probably 3 groups of people who get me and will always be my port of call, so let's get chattin'.
#1 Mumma Bear
Apart from the fact that she has played the biggest role as being my birth giver, she is in cheesy terms my rock. Yes we have what I call a stereotypical mother/daughter bond. We wind each other up, we get fed up of eachother's shit and will bicker about the smallest, mundane things. Who takes lumps out of each other over 'why don't you use that bowl to put the peas in over the one you are originally holding' kinda arguments. But it's how we show our love for each other. We will whisper things under our breath, make small digs to each other over why are you wearing that/why are you looking at me funny and we can be brutally honest about things. However, without honesty I wouldn't have moved on or grown up half as much as I have over the years. She's been the vital support throughout all the hospital years. Sat by me whilst I've been poked, prodded and had everything under the sun injected into me, baring illegal hard drugs! She's backed me up when I have been adamant and rejected treatments and operations if I didn't feel it was life threatening since the age of about 12. She's taught me how to be assertive and feisty without coming across as aggressive/i'll bite your head off vibe. She's been my emotional rock, helping me to talk about what is going on without bottling it all up and then bashing my head against a brick wall and crumbling at the wrong time in the wrong place. We pick each other up (it ain't hard, we are both 5ft 3!) but also tell each other some home truths which normally come out when we are doing mundane chores in the house and have the time to have a screaming match over the sound of the hoover. Letting out that pent up anger is brilliant when you can do it all from the comforts of your home and from different rooms. But I will always be so grateful for my mum/my elf for raising me to become a feisty, stubborn and independent woman, even when we are both being little shits. It's all part of the course.
#2 Friends
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| A small handful squeezed out of a low storage space Samsung photo gallery! |
Whether you live nearby or across the v large pond and you have to catch 4 planes, 2 trains and bike to your house, friends are so important! From having a laugh over people watching, drinking a pint of wine and word vomiting the latest gossip you've found out from a friend of a friend of an auntie you once knew with your bestest gals or having a 2am chat about your worry that you aren't gonna get that job you went for on the friday or having a major family crisis. My support network of gals and guys is tight and we have a whole load of history which brought us together. Whether it was bonding over something stupid i.e laughing at your gals seal impression in your first A Level English lesson (you know who you are!), when you first met your bestie and was drawn to talk to her because you became fascinated with her extensive collection of hair bobbles she had in year 4 or whether it was a simple interest you were both keen on sharing. Friends are always there to be with you during the happy times, the low ones and the god damn just get a grip times. You know who you are and you are all keepers in my eyes! Big love.
#3 The other family members (biological and those who aren't blood related but might as well be!)
This is dedicated to the other people in my life who support me in different ways to help with different situations.
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| Just before he jumped ship and became a stereotypical binge drinker, sleep deprived uni fresher! |
My Brother - yes he's your average 19 year old student, 6ft 4, extremely and consistently annoying (not a challenge for him!) most of the time who will grate on my nerves about 5 minutes into a convo (longest standing record to this date!). However, he's my not so little princess/teddy bear, more like a little sister with a sensitive soul and has a v caring nature. I always said to mum she gave birth to two girls. Hen picks me up with his cracking sense of humour, has a good deep chat convo when we've both sat in a boozer for a good solid 3 hour sesh and always has a different perspective and analogy to situations which you may have been blind too. I would say I could call or text him at 3am but as a student, his main priority is either getting white gal wasted or crashing from overworking. It would probably be quicker to become a parent, adopt a dog and get a mortgage quicker than Hen can respond to your text or call. Let's say he ain't the most reliable when it comes to communication but I love him all the less and when we do get chance to chat or have a 1:1 sibling day or night, I'm always keen and feel refreshed. For a sibling, I can stand his wind up merchant attitude (just in small starburst chunks!).
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| Happiest I have seen him in years! |
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| You wouldn't know he was actually laughing at the coffee machine in the background making fart noises! |
My Dad - Not for one to run to in a state of a crisis unless it's money related or in emotional turmoil (soz mum for thickly laying it all on you!), my dad has a cracking but dark sense of humour which will leave ya belly hurting and your cheeks feel like they've had an ab workout at the gym. He's consistently always there to take ya out for a pint (swear that's one of the only reason he was keen on having children so that he was able to have a couple of solid drinking partners when they turn 18) and he's brilliant to have a debate or serious chat with. Just say the word 'BREXIT' and you'll be settled in for the night. He is the most kind, caring, loyal big teddy bear who will always support you, give you the most random nicknames you've ever heard of and take the mick out of you (in the right situations and the wrong) but will also be brutal in telling you what he thinks and dishing out advice when needed (and when not!) because you know he genuinely cares about your wellbeing. He's our family BFG. Love ya Big P, even when you are a grumpy old git!
My Gran - The one who has always been a second mum to Hen and I. Mainly due to living with us since day one, she's given us the sassy, it's my way or no way attitude and story telling advantages of being a gran. When we were younger she had no fear of telling us when we were acting like spoilt brats (which is fair enough and sometimes when we were just being children!), would also be our personal taxi driver dropping and picking us up everyday from school and would also have one too many glasses of vino and start retelling your birth story or even more interesting stories from her living in World War Two or what antics she would get up to on her gallivanting adventures travelling before she became knocked up and had a family of 5. She's not one for emotional support but she is the most gentle, caring and kind person I know. She couldn't hurt a fly but she certainly does not act like the age she is, she refers to other people her age or older as 'you know old people' like she thinks she's still in her mid 30's and has a fiery feminist attitude which boosts you into submission and feel inspired. Even her stories of clubbing in Leeds with her best mate at the age of 75. You go gal!
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| Representing our ginger hair in black and white film! |
My Cousin - I'd call her more of an auntie. We don't get to see each other a lot since we both live a good solid few hours away. Hello shitty Cross Country trains. But when we do get chance to have a few days together to catch up over a gin or 5, she becomes my agony aunt. She gives me another perspective, stories of her experiences and I can confide in her with stupid things I've done that I've not told mum or another soul because more likely than not, she's done the exact same or know's of someone who has gone further up the silliness scale. We can take the piss out of the older family members and not get our head kicked in as it's 2:1. I love her to bits and she'll always be my fellow ginger companion. Plus she has the cutest wee toddler who I love sitting binge watching re-runs of Ben & Holly whilst gobbing down a handful of blueberries.
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| From the left: Gran, Mum, Mum's best mate ( ie my second mum), Mum's best mates daughter ( ie my big sister) and Mum's best mates daughter in law ( ie my Auntie) |
Extended friends but are more like family than some actual blood related family members - This group I probably see more weekends and days than I see actual family members throughout the year. I have my mum's best mate who acts like our second mum/auntie, she's the yummy mummy version of my mum (no offence mother!), her daughter who is like the big sister I never have and can confide in with all the boy goss, stupid antics we did on drunken nights out and have a similar perspective on life. Also all the other members of my mum's best mate family who act like older brothers, granddads, the silly uncle, little ones who act like my little cousins (as well as being my fellow little ginger companions!) but they are all their to have a chat, a giggle or a cry. V v grateful for them all, since day 1 our family and their family has become an ever growing one big family unit, if not slightly dysfunctional with all 18 or however many of us there are now. Love you long time!
That's just an essay overview of who I call my support network, however big or small. Who do you call your support network? Your rock, your go to people.
Thanks for tuning in. Speak soon.
Love T
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