Why do people like the norm?

F E A R.

 From experience people like the norm because of fear that being/seeing/hearing/smelling something different is weird, unusual and uncomfortable to digest. People on the whole seem to turn their noses up to something 'different'. It's different from accepting a new challenge or way because people tend to choose if they want a new challenge let's say at work or may try a new way at something if it doesn't seem to be working. What I mean by different is if someone has a more unusual look about them, follows a different religion, is from a different race, class, colour or has a different accent. It is gradually starting to move on but for christ sake, it's 2018 and people still struggle to comprehend if you don't look like them or even dress in a similar way. Something so vain as having a different hair colour will make people stare in the street. Even if it's a natural ginger colour and not blonde, brunette or black, it still carries a stigma, what's that about?

Defining your sexuality movement has finally turned a corner and people have over a slow time started to learn and accept that people can choose who they want to be. Whether being straight, gay, trans, non binary, society seems to finally got a grip on the whole freedom of sexuality. It should have been from the start. Who's business is it on what you identify as? It should be about your happiness and well-being that is more important than what gender you assign yourself to as. Those who are that small minded can jog the other way. Don't get me started why some countries have only started to make gay marriage legal? I'm not saying it's anywhere near close to being fully accepted but in recent years it's gradually start to change. Thank God.

Anyway, it got me thinking that when it comes to appearance, how we act and are perceived by others, people are judged so critically if they aren't dressed the same, act the same and look the same. It hasn't really shifted. Stares are handed out on a plate, remarks are dished out as backhanded compliments and a whole heap of judgement is loaded on top. And for what? To make the person making these immature jokes feel better and more secure. Well yeah. People who tend to judge, feel uncomfortable with someone looking or even thinking outside the box tend to be more insecure and jealous of that person who doesn't give two shits. It's because more likely than not, they are actually jealous that the other person sat on the next table in the cafe dares to be different. Dares to be themselves. Feel comfortable in their skin. It's sad really that the only way they can express how they feel about themselves is by putting down another person. You either choose to rise to the bait or you choose to ignore them. Because they ain't worth it. Don't let them rain on your parade. You wear that floaty, highlighter pink dress that makes you look shit hot and feel like you own the world. If it makes you feel better, then do it. 

To be honest, I think social media has dragged up a lot of this judgemental shit. A load of us scroll endlessly for hours and hours (i'm in on this as well!) on instagram, snapchat, facebook, twitter looking at other people. Seeing what they are wearing, their hair, makeup, what they are up to and just their general looks. And it can end up making you feel jealous. You start to question things about yourself. We all do it, its normal. Like why am I not doing that? Why don't I look like that? If I looked a certain way then I could have done this? Got more friends? Achieved that? And at the end of the mind numbing 3 hours of scrolling we start to feel like absolute dog shit. Feeling not worthy, insecure and start to view the negatives of ourselves over the positives. It's the jealous feeling all over again. 

I think some people believe that if you look a certain way and act a certain way then you'll appear as 'normal'. But what is that? It's become so screwed up in recent years that people start to come up with pre-conceived ideas and perceptions of what 'normal' is. 'Normal' is gonna be an idea that is different to everyone because we are all individuals with our own minds, capabilities, strengths and weaknesses. But 'normal' in a sense of looks and appearance comes from trends and what photos are being put out into social media. People don't just simply decide to hate their bodies, looks, personality etc, we as society teach them to. 

Now, I know I have an unusual look. My facial features are unique which comes partly from my mum's facial features and symptoms of my condition, the way the bone has formed etc etc. When I was younger, I used to be confused and wonder why people would stop and stare at me in the street, supermarket, on holiday etc. My mum would always comfort me by saying 'its because you are unique in your features and people are intrigued and interested'. However, obviously when your younger, you automatically assume that people are staring at you because you look weird, abnormal, an alien pretty much. Over the years, I've started to accept the way I look. I don't get half as upset as I use to when people would say little comments or ask me downright rude questions about the way I look. Now I tend to just smile and wave boys because that makes people genuinely more uncomfortable as they don't know how to respond to that gesture. I've not been rude or decided to grease up and have a fight over a sly comment they've come out with, I've just notified their v v 'kind' gesture and moved on. I ain't got time for immature, pathetic and vain individuals. Not caring and showing you ain't bothered is way more powerful than shouting the roofs off. Don't rise to the bait. 

I've learnt over the years that people like the norm because that's what they are use to seeing. In social media, magazines, TV etc. It makes them feel secure. A sense of belonging to society. It's comfortable. However, it doesn't mean it's right. Society seems to be oppressing people's individual quirks over vanity and acceptance. People need to get over the fact that no one is the same, we are all unique and we should embrace it and learn from each other. Not batter and tear each other down. Things will never move on if this continues to happen. And if you have friends or family who do not accept you for who you are, whether it is society's norms and expectations or not, then lump them. They ain't worth it. Quite frankly, it's boring to be the same and follow society's norms and expectations. Live a little. Be daring. You'll regret it later down the line. Be you.

You can never truly be happy if you can't accept yourself. 

Because your 100% worth it. 

(Cheers Pinterest for these gems!)

Speak soon,

Love, 

T

x